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Mothers-in-law have their faults too, and I speak as one. That, when everything seemed to be going brilliantly well, it could suddenly freeze into outright hostility.
For many isolated older people, especially if they are bereaved, their grandchildren are literally a lifeline.
Caroline wrote: ‘It’s particularly hard not seeing my eldest granddaughter because I was so close to her and often looked after her — in fact I had my son, his wife and her living with me for a time.‘But about two years ago, I was stopped from seeing my two year old granddaughter and her sister, who had just been born.
I was supposed to have shouted at my daughter-in-law, something which was not true.
A distressing feature of Abbie’s letter, and that of another granny denied access to her grandchildren, is that they admit considering ‘ending it all’. I am patron of the Bristol Grandparents Support Group, and its founder, Jane Jackson, tells me that in the past ten years three grandparents who had lost all contact with their grand- children, (two grandmothers and one grandfather), have committed suicide.Nobody trains you to be a grandparent, or explains how much joy it can bring when grandchildren run to you, arms outstretched, nor how your heart can break when you are refused permission to see them, prevented even from sending a birthday card.Earlier this month I wrote about my delight at the birth of new twin granddaughters and the wonder I have experienced developing relationships with all my five grandchildren.But when I awakened that memory, it caused her acute pain.She wrote: ‘I opened the newspaper, saw Esther cradling her grandchildren in her arms and instantly felt a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.’Abbie explained: ‘We used to have excellent and loving relationships with each other, especially with our son.